Posted by familylaw on 20th December 2011

MATCH exists to support mothers who are apart from their children because of ill-health, fostering, adoption, abduction abroad, alienation following high-conflict family breakdown or family rows.

Most of their Members used to be part of a family structure and were, in the main, its lynchpin. After divorce or separation, many were ostracised from that family, deliberately and maliciously, and denied the opportunity to support the well-being of their children.

How they support you

MATCH believe if the general public knew more about MATCH Members, or were willing to learn, they might begin to ask hard, difficult questions about how children can be better protected, particularly in high-conflict family breakdown as well as in some unique situations concerning the fostering and adoption of children.

Their quarterly Newsletter welcomes and, indeed, depends on contributions from Members who generously share their thoughts, experience and wisdom through letters, articles, poetry in the hope that it may bring a small measure of comfort to other mothers apart. Only a mother apart knows how another one feels when separated from beloved children.

Although all their backgrounds and experiences as MATCH mothers are vastly different, sometimes they share uncannily similar stories, particularly in high-conflict family breakdown where “controlling personality” types have been identified as powerful, manipulative figures. This ‘type’ plays a subtle but key role in premeditating the breaking up of the original family group, masterminding the re-building of a new family group to block out the ‘offender ‘.

It seems that, despite an almost flawless mothering history, once the mother decides to leave home – for whatever reason – the family, now dominated and controlled by one or several manipulating family members, reject her outright. Her mothering role cannot be continued outside the family home and must be aborted.

Local Support Groups

In some areas Local Support Groups have been formed where Members meet occasionally and informally. This offers an opportunity to discuss and share common problems, sometimes for the first time, with other mothers apart in a safe, non-judgemental environment where Members are sensitive and respectful of each other’s situation. Many Members find that emotional stress can be partially relieved through sharing attitudes towards tackling their own experiences or describing practical ways in which they have moved forward.

MATCH also has an AGM in London, perhaps the most important occasion for MATCH, where mothers apart come together to gain strength from their widely differing experiences. Many Members have made life-long friends at past AGMs.

Finally, on Mother’s Day, each MATCH Member across the world receives a hand-written card. These are posted to reach her on the day on which Mothering Sunday is celebrated in her country.

Visit the MATCH website for more information.

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