Posted by familylaw on 19th December 2011

During and after a divorce, children find themselves confronted with difficult emotions. There may have been hostility preceding separation, ending with one of their parents moving out.

However amicable the split was, or how sensitively it was handled, children bear a good deal of the negative effects and this can damage their self-esteem. Successful parenting after a divorce involves putting your own difficulties to one side and making your children’s needs your first priority.

Work with your ex-partner

It’s essential to your children’s well being that you and your ex-partner can co-operate in parenting, even after your break up. Consequently, you should aim to meet regularly away from the children in order to discuss and resolve problems as they arise.

Keep to the old routine

Try to retain as many rules as you can from the time when you were together as a family. Stick to old routines for getting dressed, going out, cooking together etc. This will ensure your children know what to expect from each of you and promote stability.

Resolve disputes away from the children

Children’s loyalties are already strained during a divorce and it can cause great anxiety if they witness hostility between parents. Try to resolve disputes regarding parenting away from the home and do your best to find common ground.

Stick to the plot

Be on time for your children when collecting or returning them. Waiting around makes children feel fretful and gets your visit off to a poor start. Similarly, try not to make last minute changes with your ex-partner since this causes stress for everyone. If you do need to make alternative arrangements – agree it with your ex partner first before you tell the children.

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