Posted by familylaw on 19th December 2011

As time moves on and your relationship progresses you might think about remarriage and it is important to be honest and open with your children about your plans.

If they are open to it, involve them in any wedding plans you may have and encourage them to voice any concerns. They may still be harbouring dreams of reconciliation with your ex-partner and need a good deal of reassurance.

Building a new family with a new partner takes patience, time and commitment. Remember though, many children are keen to see you move on and be happy in your life and may be more open to your new partner than you think. With a lot of love and understanding you can create a new future for all of you.

Having More Children

For your existing children, a new addition to the family, especially a baby, may cause anxiety and resentment. Having been through the trauma of divorce, children can feel a new baby will take their place in your affections. How you deal with their insecurities about this issue can have long-term effects.

Keep them informed

Tell your children about the pregnancy as soon as you can. You may wish to get through the first trimester, but once you are, sit them down together and tell them they have a new brother or sister – a new addition to the family and that you would love for them to be involved.

Reassurance is key

Take the opportunity before the baby arrives to listen to any worries your children might have and reassure them that the arrival of the baby will not alter the love you have for them.

During the pregnancy

It may not always be possible to take them along to the scans, but be sure to show them the photos and let them feel part of the baby’s development. Let them feel the baby kick, go shopping for baby clothes or help decorate the nursery. Choosing baby names is a great way to get all the family involved..

When baby arrives

No matter how well you plan, the arrival of a new baby brings chaos and it may be a challenge to balance all your family’s needs. Nevertheless, try to involve your children by going for a walk with the pram, or helping bathe or change the baby. If you can, set aside some time just for them. Curl up together and watch a family film when the baby is asleep, read to them or just make time for an uninterrupted chat or play.

It will certainly be a juggling act during the first few months or even years, but with sensitivity and commitment, you will be able to see your family move forward to a new future together.

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