Families can have a great time during the school break by going on trips, doing fun things, and making memories. However, sometimes, the juggle that school breaks often bring can add to the stress.
Different parenting styles can become more noticeable, particularly when deciding how to split time, who changes their work schedule, and how flexible routines can and should be. Most working parents don’t have the ability to take 13 weeks leave so there is a juggle to be done somewhere. Small disagreements can quickly turn into sources of conflict if they are not talked over freely. It takes a mindset shift and thinking about the children first, prioritising their needs and alongside that, making sure that both parents feel supported. Balancing fun and structure, can be a challenge.
When the holidays are over, we often have an increase in calls to our specialist children law team. If you and your partner can’t agree on holiday plans or feel that the current system isn’t working, it might be time to talk to a lawyer.
Here’s three things that we’ve learnt that could make this less stressful
1 – Figure out what you want your relationship to be like in a year or five years.
Think about what you want the next phase of your relationship with your former partner to be like. Are you still on good and friendly terms or would a distant but polite friendship make you feel better?
You can use your vision as a strong point of reference as you make holiday plans. You can use it to help you decide what to say and do to get the relationship you want with your co-parent. Remember this as you make plans for the summer. It will help you stay focused on your long-term goals. If your partner/former partner is open to hearing about your goal, you might want to share it with them so that you’re both on the same page.
2- Changing the way you think about things can help you feel calm and in charge again. Ask yourself what you can do instead of focussing on what you can’t change. Could this be a chance to take a break, get some rest, or try something new? Ask yourself things like, “What can I do then that I couldn’t do before?” What do I want to do more of? Who could I hang out with or learn from? This new point of view won’t make things easy, but it might help you feel more grounded, which could make it easier to have those tough talks with your former partner.
3- Don’t get stuck in the negatives—make your time together count
It’s easy to focus on what’s difficult—what you’re missing, what’s unfair, or how things used to be. Remember that your children will take their lead from you. If you can let go of the resentment and instead put your energy into making the time you do have with them meaningful, it can shift everything. Sit down together and plan a few simple, fun things to look forward to. These moments don’t need to be extravagant—what matters is that they’re shared. Capture the memories, laugh together, and let them see that even in a changed situation, there can still be joy, love, and connection. When you focus on what’s possible rather than what’s missing, your children will feel it—and they’ll remember it.
During the school holidays, unresolved problems can come to light, especially for parents who are separated, or in the process of separating. Positively, they also give you a chance to step back, change how you think about co-parenting, and put your children’s well-being ahead of your own. Changing the way you think, being deliberate with your time, and having your long-term goals in mind can help everyone feel better and reduce stress. If making plans keeps getting hard or if you can’t come to an agreement, don’t wait until things get worse—our children’s law team is here to help you figure out what to do next.
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