Posted by familylaw on 5th September 2016

A breakdown of a marriage and subsequent divorce proceedings can be one of the most stressful events an individual has to go through. This divorce advice is designed to try and alleviate those stresses and avoid an unpleasant and complicated divorce.


Don’t rush

When a marriage breaks down for whatever reason, people have a tendency to immediately think they must start divorce proceedings. This is not the case and should be a decision taken after some time has passed and all options have been considered. Emotions can be very high immediately after separation so allow the dust to settle before taking legal action. Just because society indicates divorce is the way forward it may not be the case for you.  Once you have considered your options if you still feel a divorce is the best way forward then we are here to help.


Mediate or Collaborate

Court proceedings and solicitors are not the only way to resolve issues following a marriage breakdown. Mediation and or collaborative law are only some other options which are available.

Mediation is a very positive way to resolve these matters. It can be cheaper, quicker and less stressful than resolving these matters through the course of negotiations with a solicitor.

Collaborative law is a process where, each person appoints their own collaboratively trained lawyer and you and your respective lawyers all meet together to work things out face to face. Both of you will have your lawyer by your side throughout the process and so you will have their support and legal advice as you go.


Be truthful

Honesty really is the best policy. To enable decisions to be made in respect of both financial and children matters you must be truthful. To enable us to provide you with accurate advice and for decisions to be made, the information provided must be accurate and honest. If you lie with the information you provide, it is likely you will be found out. This can have huge and serious cost implications in both divorce and financial matters.


Keep your emotions in check

A marriage breakdown can bring about many emotions, most commonly anger, resentment, fear and sadness. However do not let these emotions control your decisions. A divorce is a process and not a war that is to be won. Try and keep your emotions in check. As solicitors we are here to help you with your emotions as well as providing legal advice. If you are angry with your ex-spouse then inform your solicitor in the first instance rather than sending an angry email or text message which will only inflame an already difficult situation. Always take some time before responding to matters and ensure that you remain dignified throughout, even if your ex-spouse is not. Always take the higher ground regardless of how difficult it may be and refrain from fighting on principle. This will only lead to further anxiety and increased costs.


Communicate effectively

The most effective way to ensure a stress free divorce is to effectively communicate with your ex-spouse. The more you can agree between yourselves the easier and cheaper the divorce and financial matters will be. It will also ensure that you both have control over any decision being made, rather than decisions being forced upon you by the court. If negotiating and discussing the financial matters, have a clear plan of what you want to achieve to avoid historical issues being raised and unnecessary arguments being caused. If an argument or confrontation starts then take the higher ground and walk away. Try and meet at a public place to discuss these matters as confrontation is less likely to take place in a public arena. If you are unable to communicate effectively then try and resolve the matters by way of alternative methods like mediation or collaborative law.


The Family Law Company offers free consultations in which you can get no obligation, legal advice detailing the various options available to you. We also have several experienced mediators and collaborative lawyers, who can assist separating spouses in dealing with their financial arrangements (as well as arrangements for their children if appropriate).
If you require further information or advice in respect of any family matter please contact our solicitors in Exeter on 01392 421777

Need some advice? Get in touch today

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