With only seven weeks left until Christmas, excitement is building especially for children. But for separated parents, it can also be a time of tension and tricky decisions. Who spends Christmas with children can cause parents to disagree and emotions can quickly take over.
The good news, explains Children Solicitor and Director Amelia Davey, is that it’s never too early to start sorting things out. Here are three practical steps to help you plan ahead and keep Christmas as calm and joyful as possible.
1. Put your children first
Instead of focusing on what you want, try to see Christmas through your child’s eyes. Every family is different, and every child has their own feelings about where they spend the holidays. Some love the change between homes; others find it unsettling. Think about how travel, routines, siblings, and extended family might fit together. Whether your child spends Christmas Day with one parent and Boxing Day with the other, or alternates each year, the goal is the same for them to feel relaxed, loved, and free to enjoy the magic of the season.
2. Don’t leave it too late
If you haven’t agreed arrangements yet, start those conversations now. With just 49 days to go, the closer Christmas gets, the harder it becomes to find a solution that works for everyone. Travel, presents, and family plans all take time to organise, and if your child is older, their voice matters too. You might find what worked last year doesn’t fit this time around. Early discussions mean there’s space to compromise, keep things polite, and avoid unnecessary stress later on.
3. Keep Christmas special for your child
It’s natural to want your children with you on Christmas Day, but sometimes letting go is the braver choice. Arguing, even subtly, can leave a lasting mark on your child’s memories. What they’ll remember most is feeling loved and secure, not where they opened their presents. And while court applications might seem like a solution, the reality is that you’re unlikely to get a hearing before the new year, and mediation is usually needed first.
When you might need to go to court
If all efforts to reach an agreement fail, you may need to apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order. This should always be a last resort, but sometimes it’s necessary especially where there are safeguarding concerns or communication has broken down completely. A specialist children solicitor can advise whether court action is appropriate and help you prepare your case effectively, ensuring your child’s best interests remain at the heart of every decision.
If you’re struggling to agree, remember, Christmas comes around every year. Use this one as an opportunity to find a balance that works for your family now and in the future. Getting things sorted early makes the season far less stressful for everyone involved.
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