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Posted by familylaw on 21st December 2011

If you really love your parents it’s normal to hope that they will get back together again. They used to love each other once, so why not now? Sometimes you just long for things to go back to ‘the way they were.’

Whether your parents decide to divorce or even if they choose to give it another try, their decision is not based on anything you say or do. It may be tempting to think that if only you can remind them of the good times they once had, that they may fall in love again and get back together.

I tried talking to my mum and dad about family holidays we used to have. I hoped it would make them see they could stay together now and not get divorced but it seemed to make them feel even more sad. After a while my mum told me that even though she had a lot of happy memories with my dad they just couldn’t work out their problems anymore and couldn’t be happy together. This was difficult to take but at least I knew where I stood.” Mia, 14.

You may hope your parents will marry again. Divorce is final and most parents do not get back together. You can still love both parents. That does not change with divorce. Your parents will always love you.

Trial Separation

It’s not always a clean break when parents decide to split up. Sometimes they will separate for a while to see how they feel about each other. Usually one parent will move out of the family home for this. If you’re hoping your parents will get back together this can be a difficult situation. Sometimes they might decide to give it another try and it works out. Other times they may move back in and then find they really can’t stay together and leave again, which can be confusing. In other cases they may realise they are better off apart and separate permanently.

Talk To Your Parents

If you find yourself hoping and wondering about whether your parents will get back together or not, try talking to them about your feelings. Be as honest as you can and explain to them how confused you are and ask them to be honest with you. Once your parents have told you what the situation is don’t be afraid to ask more questions until you feel you have enough facts.

It’s important to really listen to what your parents say. They may not be able to give you a yes or no answer but they can tell you what the situation is at that time. If they tell you that their relationship is over and that they really wish to separate permanently, try to believe them. Refusing to accept the truth can stop you from coming to terms with it.

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